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Hey, Men: Here’s What It Would Be Like If Your Underwear Were Made Like a Bra
Imagine that your underwear has a wire in it: a stiff, metal wire that fits snugly around your scrotum — one that squeezes you mercilessly if you gain a single pound, on certain days of the month, or when you begin to swell even slightly.
Imagine that when your underwear starts to wear out, a bare metal wire breaks through the fabric and impales you in the testicles.
Imagine that every single one of these torture devices costs around $50. Want more of a guarantee that the binding ball-wire will feel slightly less painful, or that it is made well enough to be less likely to break free and stab your stuff? Get out your credit card.
Are you an unusual size? You might need to take out a loan.
Imagine that after spending $100 for just one decent pair of well-fitting custom underwear, you can’t put them in the washer. You lather and rinse them yourself by hand or launder them carefully inside a special protective bag. Toss them in the machine by mistake and you’ll feel your heart sink at the twisted wire and mangled cup you retrieve. Wear it anyway, and suffer the painful consequences when you hear the inevitable sproing.
Yet another wire to the balls.