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Nursery Rhymes for the Pandemic

Or, Mother Goose Masked.

Kelly Robinson

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The CDC does not approve of this gathering. (Illustration Randolph Caldecott, 1885. Public Domain.)

Baa, baa, black sheep,

Have you any wool?

No, sir, no, sir,

Not since the toilet paper ran out.

Hickory, dickory, dock.

The mouse ran up the clock.

The clock struck one,

The mouse ran down,

And said “Jesus, it’s one o’clock already? Wait, what day is this, even?”

Little Jack Horner

Sat in the corner,

Eating a piece of pie.

He put in his thumb,

And pulled out a plum,

And said, “Thanks a lot, DoorDash; I ordered apple.”

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.

She had so many children, she was an absolute disaster during Zoom meetings.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall,

All the king’s horses and all the king’s men,

Were distancing at home, so Humpty was pretty much just screwed.

Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle,

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